Category: LGBT Discussion
My mother's been a lesbian all her life, and she's always said that she could tell when someone is gay. She says it's in how they look. On that same note, she's said that the actors in The L Word mostly aren't gay but pull it off so well that they could almost fool her. Now, to an outsider, you'd never know Mom was gay. When she was younger, she was very feminine, wearing dresses, capes and makeup, always with her nails done. Even now, in sweats or jeans, she can pull off the lady-like appearance. Joanie,, on the other hand, is very tailored. She's not a tom boy but she'd look totally silly in a dress. Being totally blind, I have no visual references. I've tried to tell by voice, just to see if I could do it, but failed several times. You can't always go by stereotypes. Some lesbians have high voices and some, like Mom, have low ones but not stereotypical. As for men, clearly, there are those who look and act straight naturally, but who are gay. And I've definitely heard some who threw me for a loop. So is Mom right. I mean, with all the variety out there, is it really possible to tell when someone's gay? If so, is it really, as she says, an insider's thing and how do blind people do it?
You can't tell someone is gay.
I know straight men who fret over their appearance, watch Grey's Anatomy and get pedicures. I know straight women who lift weights and belch in public. I know gay men who wouldn't be caught dead getting their hair styled, and lesbians who are very, very feminine.
You can suspect and be right, you can suspect and be wrong, but the only way you'll know for sure is if they tell you. Besides, it doesn't really change how you interact with on a friendship, family or professional level anyway.
Oh, I should sincerely hope it doesn't change friendship etc. I was merely curious. *smile*
You go camping with them and can't sit the next day.
Lol, Roman, that's horrible.
I wouldn't peg you as the type to change your feelings towards someone regardless of their orientation, no worries. I just phrased it that was for the benefit of any audience that might pop in here. :)
I agree with post 2. Well, me being bisexual... I really didn't tell anyone until I was about 22. Some people told me they already knew that about me and others didn't, so I guess to some people its more obvious than to others.
I, too, am bisexual, and most people would never guess. I agree with those who said there's not a surefire way to tell someone is gay; I've thought someone was gay because of the way they sounded and been wrong...and I've also thought people were gay and been right. sometimes you can get a clue by the things they say, but not always.
You can tell if someone wishes they were gay by how much they spend time railing against gays ... haven't we seen that in the news of recent?
Um, Robozork, your post made absolutely no sense to me. But, given the original topic, I personally don't think you can tell whether someone is gay or not without them choosing to tell you. I can make guesses, sometimes, but I certainly don't put any stock in them. I have heard of the term, "GayDar," (and I spelled that so JAWS would pronounce it correctly), which is, I think what Eleni is referring to. That seems to be mostly an inside thing, from what I can tell. Or, it may not be a real thing at all, just something some people think they have.
It was said tongue in cheek ... haven't we seen all the railers on Fox or whatever who rave against gay people, and then you find out ... they've been makin' a run for Brokeback Mountain or something campishsimilar ...
lol I have suspicions about people and i've been right most of the time. Mannerisms, many gay guys have the lisp and say girl way too often lol. It's hard to tell with chicks though. Every guy i've thought was gay turned out to be gay except this one guy...so i was in a group home before i went into foster care, and one of the staff memebers was so hot. every girl there had a crush on him, and years later meaning last year, I found him on facebook and turns out he was gay. I had no idea about that one. I died a little on the inside when I found out lol.
I have Gaydar, but it must be calibrated, I get far too many false-positives. Turns out, I was right about my husband's nephew, however. Also, I fail to ping the gaydar of many. I'd assumed folks would know I'm gay, but I have to tell them.